Dim sum brothel

Almost everything was wrong with the Golden Tripod Attic. The decor was off, the music was wrong and even the name was just, well, weird. Seriously, what kind of name is "Golden Tripod Attic"? Given that the Chinese name is 金鼎轩, I will venture that a better translation should be "House of Golden Peak"? Sounds better already doesn't it?


The architecture of the restaurant was like a faux imperial-style mansion and it ended up just looking like a faux imperial-style brothel. The bloody red lanterns didn't help. The restaurant blasted techno music outside its doors, perhaps in the hope that its loud, repetitive beats would warm up the crowd. My goodness, this place was a joke.

Until you try its dim sum that is. The only thing funny after that was how good and how cheap it was. I actually stumbled into the Attic by accident. Being the smart ass that I am, I decided to check out a job fair on a Monday morning at 8.30, thinking that I may be able to catch a sight of shivering job seekers waiting in line to fill in their resumes. I was wrong. The only shivering dude was me. Young Beijingers may be having a hard time finding employment, but they are not so dumb as to hunt for one at -6C.

Disappointed and cold, I dashed into the hideous-looking Attic, which was just next to the job fair. The waiters wore ridiculous Santa hats. But at least they were employed. I asked for Chinese tea, didn't even bother to take off my jacket, and grabbed the menu. Ordered chee cheong fun (rice flour roll), lo mai kai (glutinous rice with chicken), carrot cake and Sichuan noodles.


What was served just warmed my frozen belly. The chee cheong fun had smooth, silky skin with a delightful sauce over it. But it was the fried carrot cake that made me a tripod too. Now, I may not be an expert of anthropology or other ant-like studies, but I do know my carrot cake. In Singapore, it is called "chye tow kway" and if it is a subject in the university, I ought to be a lecturer. My professorship was earned by my close examination of all famous carrot cake stalls in Singapore. I love them black, white or brown, which was how the Attic does it. Crispy on the edges and fluffy and soft inside. It may be more oily than Crystal Jade's, but it sure beats it pants down. I usually take my carrot cake with some chilli, but this one was so good that it had to be eaten au natural.

It costs just 8.80 yuan for a plate, and a sumptuous dim sum meal would not set you back by more than 40 yuan or about S$8. It gets even cheaper if you go during its extraordinarily-long Happy Hours (2 to 5pm; 10pm to 11am). Oh yes, it is opened 24 hours. So you can get awesome dim sum round the clock!


The restaurant has five branches. I was at the Temple of Earth - where the emperors used to make offerings to the deities of earth - outlet (10-6429-6888), but there is also one at the swanky Shin Kong Place. Don't bother going to the Temple itself. It is a poor cousin of the Temple of Heaven - one of Beijing's most breathtaking ancient architecture. Just go to the adjacent whorehouse-looking Golden Tripod Attic. And be the slut to its dim sum mastery. I am, and I'm damn proud of it.