The Orchard Rude

After a rough week in Xinjiang, I was looking forward to a brunch excursion which I had tied down with a bunch of friends earlier. It is an "excursion" because unlike pretty much all the restaurants that I go to, The Orchard is in the boondocks of Beijing.

For good ol' Beijingers, it would not even be considered part of the city. The Orchard is located in Shunyi, some 30 minutes' drive from downtown and near the Fifth Ring Road - which means it is like the backside of Beijing.

But Shunyi is quite a piece of ass. Located near the airport, it has been developed into something like a mini-Florida suburb for expats, with big bungalows, gated communities and old people. Of course, such a crowd usually have quite a bit of renminbi to burn, so a nice crop of restaurants have popped up in this crevice of the capital.

The Orchard, which comes with a lake, is among the most famous and quite highly recommended by expats, especially those old enough to stay in Shunyi.


The restaurant is located in, yup, an orchard. It's supposedly a big deal because you see fruit trees. Why? I have no clue. I guess some city folk swoon and get orgasmic when they see fruit trees - "Check out those apples on the tree!! Wow!!". To me, they are just trees. Give me the juice anyday sir.

Still, I have to admit that it was nice to be in a fruit orchard on a Sunday afternoon. The Sun was out and its Beijing brother, the Smog, was there too. Ah, lovely. Sunny Beijing pollution. It's no wonder I missed this city when I was in Xinjiang.


But first impressions last and The Orchard screwed that up BIG BIG time with me. We reached the place at about 11.40am and since I was hungry, I decided to go check out the buffet spread. We were in a restaurant after all. If I wasn't thinking of looking for food, why be there? But no no no. The Orchard had other ideas. We were unceremoniously shooed out of the buffet area because brunch could only be served at 12 sharp. "You have to leave this area now!," commanded a waitress. Or maybe it was because she wasn't pleased that my friend astutely pointed out that there was a cockroach in the bread baskets. This door (below) was then slammed shut. Bitch.


Anyway, just before the door was closed, I took out my camera to snap a few pictures of the spread (not the roach), but the waitress barked: "You cannot take pictures here!" There was none of the, "I'm sorry Sir, but we do not allow photography in our premises." The rudeness cheesed me off big time. And to make things worse, I later saw signs plastered on the walls saying that if anyone wanted to take pics, they have to pay the restaurant 300 yuan for 30 minutes of shooting time.

Seriously, were they serving bread rolls on naked women? Who the hell in the right frame of mind would pay 300 yuan (that's about S$65) to take pictures? And at 180 yuan per person for the buffet (which is majorly expensive by Beijing's standards), I jolly well think I deserve to take pictures of the stuff I pay and eat.


I was hoping the food - continental spread - would salvage the outing, but I was sorely disappointed. Except for the bread which was quite fluffy and delicious when served without the roach, the other dishes were awfully ordinary. The roast beef was rather stiff and cream pasta was forgettable.


But the place was packed. Maybe that's why they can afford to be rude and harbour insects. I guess some people do like food in the boondocks. As for me, I will stick to the city. Not really an ass kind of man.